stakesthesame | IMEEJI INBOX

If every guy I'm friends with is gonna make you feel like I'm two seconds from dumping you, then maybe we should keep talking about this. I mean, I don't get why I'm having this conversation with my girlfriend, but I'm not trying to date every dude I know, and it's kinda insulting you'd be thinking I was.

--no! Geez. No. He's the only one I know of I have an actual problem with personally! The Corona thing was just a surprise because like, why. Hurricane's involvement doesn't bother me at all. I've been trying to encourage him even... and he's like, one of my best friends! I've had lots of time to think about it. If you're kissing other dudes I don't even know about it and largely I don't care cuz most of the other guys I don't like I don't like cuz they've murdered you.

This is why I said it was stupid and asked you not to make fun of me about it because I KNOW it's dumb and I KNOW I'm an insecure idiot about it. I'm not sitting here accusing you of chasing dudes! I literally just wanted to be a little honest about my feelings when it comes to him and you tell me "why don't you date him" when he's honestly just been awful to me since we met.

... I just want to drop it cuz I don't really want to be the butt of this joke anymore but I'm just fucking up again instead. I'm sorry.

Edited 2019-06-16 02:46 (UTC)

[stiff]

I didn't even know you two had a thing; we never talked about him because why would we, that's--

[cuts herself off, blowing out a long breath and some of her frustration, with it. starts over]

...Look. Sorry, for being shitty about it. But also, like, I was thinking you could go disprove whatever weird thing your teammates put in your head about what you should be comparing yourself to. 'Cause that's ridiculous, okay?

[takes a few steps closer and tries to catch her gaze, somewhere between earnest and pained]

You...get why this bothers me, right? If you've got a problem, I don't wanna drop it, I wanna help figure it out.

Edited 2019-06-16 03:12 (UTC)

[ meets her gaze, after a moment, mostly just looking deeply embarrassed and kind of ashamed. ]

I know, I just... m'not gonna make you stop doing whatever cuz s'not really... fair to you, is it? Mostly I just stay away from him. And it's fine. We're "friends" or whatever but I don't really meet his junked up definition of it properly so... easier just to avoid him.

... I dunno. I'll try not to let him get under my skin so much.

Definitely; that's all he wants, so no reason to give it to him.

[takes a few more steps closer--hesitates--leans against the wall at the edge of the window seat]

...Even if he were the second coming of Cupid, or Venus naked in a shell or whatever, it wouldn't change anything about you, including how I feel. Okay?

... always seems to catch me when I'm real low.

[ watches her lean, then at length nods a bit, bowing her head. ]

Okay.

[watches her for a few beats, then looks away]

...You got some, uh. Feedback for me...? I can at least try to get better...

[ looks back up at her ]

... for what?

[ a thoughtful pause. ]

I mean, you're... cagey about talkin' about stuff sometimes... and stuff like that, but... figured it's pretty normal not to trust me for that stuff this early? ... I can be patient sometimes, too. And none of that stuff is wrong, or hurts me, or anything, so I don't want you to force yourself to try to change or nothin. And you try your best anyway... Um, I would have said "say or do what you want more" but you've already started that on your own, a little... I think, anyway.

You don't have to change for me, Nem. I like you this way.

[looks dubious]

I mean, we been talking about you, but most of this kinda stuff's a two-way street, so... I don't want you to think I can't listen or anything.

Nah, I'm serious. I can't really think of anything. I like you the way you are. And if something comes up later I'll say somethin', but... it's good right now, so.

[looks more dubious, but]

...Okay. Just--if it comes up, okay?

[shifts]

Um, 's there anything we gotta talk about? I don't wanna forget anything.

... is there anything else you want laid out? Like-- is there anyone you really hate... off limits? For either of us. Or like, a limit... or should we shoot each other a text sometime like "hey I'm spending the night at whoever's"? I dunno.

...

Um, do you want to know about the whole thing with my ribs from like two weeks ago? That's not relationship related but I just remembered.

...Pretty sure you'd never want to do anything with anybody like that. But...d'you think you'd feel better with texts like that set up?

And--yeah, kinda do. Uh, if that's okay.

I mostly meant, like... "hey if you could avoid this because I'd prolly feel awful that'd be great" sort of thing? But yeah, I don't really...

[ huffs a bit. ]

... so long story short tried to kill Lucifel and Amaranth stopped me.

...Huh, everybody's killing Lucifel these days. What was it this time?

[ starts counting off on her fingers, ]

He's been on my shitlist since the trial, all the shit he pulled in Hunger Games, all of Sensitiv are pretty useless and deserve a good kick in the head at LEAST, one of his unit did some awful shit to Maki and Corona during that princess thing, whatever the fuck he did to you...

He had it comin'.

...Not that I got any love lost for the guy, but you don't gotta make any enemies for my sake. So he did that? Or she did?

He was already my enemy. That just sealed it. But yeah. She cracked me up a bit getting me off her "son."

[ with a disgusted tone, her expression darkening a little. ]

... m'done with her, too.

...Ah.

If you'd said something. I could've helped, maybe.

Would you have really wanted to? ... I wasn't gonna risk him opening you up like a tuna can again, though. Either way.

[ pauses. ]

We should get some of those scars bought off, baby. In case we get something like the hunger games again.

I want to back you up, yeah. You shouldn't have to take that on alone.

And--yeah...yeah, I guess so.

... well, I wanted to, though. Really didn't wanna get anyone else involved. I don't even know where Amaranth came from.

She say something like "mom sense" or something like that?

Didn't ask. Don't care. She can get fucked.

[ definitely looks kinda hurt though. but. waves a hand. ]

... whatever, enough about that. Nothing really came of it anyway. Obviously I failed.

Got further than I did. Anyways-- I think he's into it. One of our new guys slit his throat, and he told him he wanted 'im to do it or something, it was weird. So even if you'd got 'im this time, maybe he woulda just been weird about it.

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